I have been struggling to produce something worthwhile for the last few weeks.

It went so far that, this afternoon, already a day late in my self set schedule for this blog, I decided to not publish anything.
I had, and for that matter still have, three drafts I absolutely hate.

So I quit and watched a TV show. Six Feet Under to be precise.
And while there are volumes I can and most likely will write about that particular series ( once I’m finished with it ), the episode I ended up seeing hit very, very close to home.

It wasn’t the plot of the episode itself. In fact, it was merely the setup for what I suppose will be a larger subplot later on. But in a conversation between three characters, one of them struggling with her art and stating that she has not done anything for months because it will inevitably be shit. There was an answer to what I was going through merely an hour before.

I won’t quote the whole of it. As the very first words serve to summarize the whole of it.

“So? What’s the worst that could happen?”

I think that, more often than not, I get absorbed in my own perfectionism. Forgetting that I am not doing this for whatever it will turn out to be in the end.
I don’t do this so people can look at it. Judge it. Think about it.
I am, ultimately, doing this because it is fun to do.

And I should probably not stop me from having fun just because I myself don’t like looking at what comes out of it.
If my hobby would be to dance tango in a pink dress on a crowded street, I should still do it. Because I might not have the chance to do so tomorrow.
Whatever may happen because I did it. It will not… it can not be worse than what will not happen if I don’t do it.

And in that very moment. I suddenly felt inspired again. Full of energy, ideas and thoughts to convey to whatever medium I choose.
My mind is on creative overdrive for pretty much the entire day of every week, twelve months a year. As it seems, it just needs a little nudge sometimes to remind itself that those valves might be a bit tight.

Loosen up. After all. What’s there to loose?